People who can't stand mushi-mushiness, this is not the post for you to read :) whyy? Cause I'm going to type whatever is in my heart for this special dude here, Syed Akbar Rafsanjani, SAR.

Dearest Syed Akbar Rafsanjani,

you know me better than any other guys, don't include my family obviously. What I meant was, among all the guys that I've dated or go on a stead with, you're the only guy that understand me, and try his very best to take care of my feelings. You may not be the guy that every girl wish for, to be frank, you're not even my taste, but your personality and your sincerity towards me, just opened my heart to accept you. After so long, a guy managed to open the doors of my heart, that has been shut for so long. I'm grateful that you happened to be in my life story, and I wish you would played the role in my life forever, but I believe people come and go, right? I know it would be great if I could just say all these sweet words right in front of you, or even write them in the letters, but trust me boy, I'm just not brave enough to show you how much you meant to me. Seeing you leave would be the last thing I ever want! People see us, and they go, " awww, sweetnyer korang!" or they'll go, " cute lah korang together, match gitu" but they don't know what I have to went through, and what you have to went through, to grow the love between us, to build the trust that was once ruined! We took a step by step basis. You never gave up when I already did. You still wanted to prove to me! And now when you're gone, I'm missing you damn much. I guess it is true, when someone says, " when he's gone, you'll start to realise" But trust me, I'm not regretting. If my love for you is sincere enough, then when the day you walk out of those doors, my status will still be 'reserved for SAR' :')

I missed playing in the rain. Fall and injured my friends/ myself. Ever tried crying in the rain? IT HELPS! trust me! I am no expert in this whole crying and emoing, but trust me it helps to make you feel good especially when you're down. Cry with a smile! I am being so random here. What's with posting in english right? Especially nowadays, I'm trying to improve my English here! And hopefully it helps.

My birthday celebration is nearing, I'm having a pinch of disappointed, excited and afraid. Afraid that the celebration wouldn't work out great. Fine would be good actually. Wtv it is, I know I have my family and cousins to cheer me up when needed. Excited to spend my longs days with cousin, bonding and laughing! Disappointed, they promise and plan so many stuff, but when the time comes, guess what? THEY BACK OFF! I don't know what I should say, seriously. If I were to give my comments, then people will go, " OH GOD, YOU'RE STILL A KID!" then I'll go *silent* Then they'll go " You know nothing, you don't understand" but I really think that they should listen to what a kid has to say, about her feelings! I wanted this celebration so badly, because I want spent my time with my cousin, and guess what? A family won't be there for the whole 3 days and 2 nights.! I just can't elaborate how I feel. You make me all excited, and now? I'm hoping things would turn out fine! Aisyah is on the sad mood! nyehh! changed!

I guess, it's okay, right? I have to think matured-ly right? I knoww. Aisyah has to put herself in their shoes, but the reasons are so not REASONABLE! It was planned 5 months ago! 5 MONTHS! not 5 days! blearghhh! okay done!

I want enjoy myself before I start my intensive revision on my own during or maybe after the June holidays. Actually I'm bored! And I'm posting an entry to keep myself away from thinking stupid and sweet stuff :) I guess I should turn to sleep now.

chalos!

Lots Of Love;

Siti Aisyah.

Life is like a rainbow, sometimes things to get all bright and sometimes things to get all dull. But the truth is, it depend on our own decision. We have the choice, it's in our hand. We decide on how we want to see things. *smiling wide* In any circumstances or any problems, it's really our choice. We live our life,so we decide, and never regret. ! No point regretting, you can only choose to learn from the mistake you've done. Random? I know. How is it even related to me? Well, I've gotten back my MYE result. Neither did I do very well nor very badly for my paper. I manage to pass at least 4 subjects. *claps* but even with the passing marks, I don't even think that the grade I've gotten, would get me to any polytechnic. I made my decision to study for the MYE, I didn't do well, so what choice do I have? I can either give up or study harder, right? So what is my choice? I need to make the choice, no one can. right? Well, I really don't know. *smile wide*

*look above*

These are the people that I wish to thank. They are giving me their support and help for the preparation of my 17th birthday celebration. They are trying in every way to make it a success one, I know they wish to make it a memorable sweet 17 for me, especially with all the not supportive cousin around, giving excuses. I really appreciate, and even if it doesn't turn out perfect, I just want to say that I'm grateful and thankful for your hard effort. Thanks for sponsoring stuff, and still wish to buy me gift.

They: " Aisyah want what for your birthday present?"

Me: " Aisyah just want you people to be there, make my day even if things turn out bad!"

*tearing* I'm touched really. I don't show. My big brothers are the best, and the most awesomemess cousins ever! you may have better than mine, but trust me! They're imperfect people that makes my life seems PERFECT!

Aunt and Uncle, you stood by my side all this while! When mum was not there to listen, you both were there. The first person I would always share my happiness and sadness with. THANKS! You may not shower me with gifts, but you showered me with love. *kiss kiss*

MUM, you're my world, you don't seem to see it. But trust me, you're my number 1 girl! Without you, I don't think I'll be sitting here with all the results that I'm getting. I don't think I'll have lots of awesome experience and memories. Please stay! Don't go! You know I still need you! :) Iloveyou,mum! Yes, I'm lazy and stuff. But you know I'm still your lil baby girl, that still wants you to do everything for her. I can do it myself, but I still want you to do it. Cause things ain't the same if it was my hand.

AWESOMESS PEOPLE that makes me AWESOME! *smile*