Aisyah ;)

The heart of a 17year old girl.

Written on Thursday, February 16, 2012, 7:52 AM

"if you have someone please move on; im afraid i'll forgrt you once i'm released" those was his words in the letter.

I was not upset upon reading those lines. Everything was not yet process in my head properly. Only when i reached home, i then broke down. The tears i kept for 3 months was finally tearing up. So all this while, i was just wasting my time, putting every single hope that we'll be together once you're out. Hahaha. Im just full of my sweet ending love stories. I just then realised that i've got to get back to reality. Who wants a fat, not attractive girl? Heh. I doubt so any dudes wants!

So here's my solution, im gonna make myself busy, still reply your letters, cause i rather be your friend than a total stranger just because of my egoo. Gotta put my ego & emo aside. & use my brain instead. Maybe whats best for us, is just being best mates. & i can't always expect everything to go my way. If we're meant to be, then we're meant to be. I put our fate in the hands of allah. Insyallah, amin.

Labels: I still dooo.

Written on Sunday, September 25, 2011, 3:57 PM

A person of my past, 4 years ago came back into my life! Haha. Fateee?

Written on , 8:01 AM

Awesome day at work! Experience. Gonna be all mushi mushi here. I miss my DATE big time. A year to go. All afraid! Im serious! What if.... Gahhh! I know i should be concentrating on my studies but i can't!

I'll a promise to myself! No more distraction at all! Even if i'm lazy to study! I need to bare in mind that! I'm doing this for mum! For my future! I need to get good grades to fulfill my life dream! Seriously! Go aisyah! Be a smart bitchh!

Starting tomorrow! One hour of english every sgl day! And 3 hours for a subject of either sci or maths! And an hour of either geog or ss! You can do it! Complete tys! You go girl! 

Labels: Imy;sar.

Written on Friday, June 24, 2011, 1:34 AM

From the above picture, obviously this is going to be a mushi mushi post. Sorry guys. But I need to and have to.

Yesterday was our very 1st Anniversary. You broke the record of all the guys I ever dated or went on a stead with. But I really find this complicated, our r/s I meant. Half of the duration of our r/s, we've not been meeting, you inside and me, out here. To be frank, this six month, I've not dated anyone. I don't know why I can't. I just feel that I'm cheating on you, even if it was just a meet up with my guy friends. I don't know if you feel the same way like I do. And furthermore, we're having troubles with our letter, I received yours twice but you insisted it was your third letter. I sent you my very first letter to you, but I guess they rejected them. Some people think that I should just move on, do you know how sad that makes me feel? seriously, yes, I AM EMOTIONAL! But I'm happy that mum, cousins, nuriha, to be frank those I called family are there to support me, and insist that I wait for you. Guys asked me, why do I have to wait for you? You're not near perfect at all. Based on academics, you suck. Based on look, frank, you don't have one. Based on cheating, dude you cheated me 5 times, but I still held on. And especially with the reason to your case, why did I even choose you? Why do I have the urge to wait for you?

Firstly, you're sincere. Secondly, you accept me for who I am. Thirdly, unlike other guys, your motive and their's of getting to know me, was different. All the other guys want was lust, but you? Not even a single touch or persuasion on getting into lust. Even when I started to kiss you in you know i know way. You pushed me back. Tell me, which fucking dude would do that? Fourthly, you respect my reputation. Fifthly, you try to win Mum's heart by obeying her every single rule. Sixth-ly, you are willing to do any activity at almost any hour with me. Seventh-ly, you are patience with my attitude, despite all the shits and tantrums I throw at you, even when it was not your fault, you still held on. And chilled! like always~ Eighth-ly, No matter what my mood was in, you try your very best to make me smile and laugh! Ninth-ly, you changed! for the better, and try your very best to change, cause you know I hated those attitude of yours. Lastly, every time, when I misjudge you, you would take an extra mile to prove me wrong!

Out of those 10 points I've stated, I doubt so any other guys would have that 10 out 0f 10 points I just stated. People may see the imperfectness in you, but frankly, you imperfectness are perfect to my eyes, and your imperfectness are the ones that made me more attracted to you.

Written on Monday, June 13, 2011, 5:00 AM

Can I go somewhere to relax? Or maybe to have fun? 2 weeks of holidays and I ain't got any plans. Can I at least have 2 or 3 days of fun? Please, and I promise, the rest of the days, I'll stay at home. My hair ain't getting any straighter, even though I went for rebonding. I wish to keep long hair please. YAY~ Can I go sheesha please? Can I have dinner or lunch at pizzahut? Can I go hang out with old mates like old times? Can I have dinner at Newton Circle please? There is still lots of stuff that I can wish for seriously.

Family is doing great; next big event would be BrotherKhairul's marriage *can't wait*. WAIT! Hari Raya Aidilfitri first. Then BrotherKhairul's marriage. The best thing about Hari Raya Aidilfitri is the bond! and secondly the MONEY. Who hates money? Haha!

Okay I'm really outta words. IMSAR :)

Written on Thursday, June 2, 2011, 8:39 AM

Hello, just got home from Aunt's place *smile* My current mood: delighted~ Yepp. All my cousins and family are sleeping over. Alhamdulillah. May this 3 days 2 nights, be an awesome *like always* or a fine one. Currently my eyeballs hurt, I think I should get some eyemo tomorrow. And I need to get a slipper. And, ohh got, there's lots of things that I need to get. NO!!! The important things are eyemo and text people the address of my chalet :) Ohh yahh, my cousin from KL is already here, hope he have a blast, Maybe, just maybe, I'll upload my chalet pictures at Facebook. Well; I know there's no reader, but still, this is the place where I can express stuff :) Nights people, gotta rest.

Written on Tuesday, May 31, 2011, 8:11 AM

People who can't stand mushi-mushiness, this is not the post for you to read :) whyy? Cause I'm going to type whatever is in my heart for this special dude here, Syed Akbar Rafsanjani, SAR.

Dearest Syed Akbar Rafsanjani,

you know me better than any other guys, don't include my family obviously. What I meant was, among all the guys that I've dated or go on a stead with, you're the only guy that understand me, and try his very best to take care of my feelings. You may not be the guy that every girl wish for, to be frank, you're not even my taste, but your personality and your sincerity towards me, just opened my heart to accept you. After so long, a guy managed to open the doors of my heart, that has been shut for so long. I'm grateful that you happened to be in my life story, and I wish you would played the role in my life forever, but I believe people come and go, right? I know it would be great if I could just say all these sweet words right in front of you, or even write them in the letters, but trust me boy, I'm just not brave enough to show you how much you meant to me. Seeing you leave would be the last thing I ever want! People see us, and they go, " awww, sweetnyer korang!" or they'll go, " cute lah korang together, match gitu" but they don't know what I have to went through, and what you have to went through, to grow the love between us, to build the trust that was once ruined! We took a step by step basis. You never gave up when I already did. You still wanted to prove to me! And now when you're gone, I'm missing you damn much. I guess it is true, when someone says, " when he's gone, you'll start to realise" But trust me, I'm not regretting. If my love for you is sincere enough, then when the day you walk out of those doors, my status will still be 'reserved for SAR' :')