I need to have a sense of determination in myself. I'm going no where with my current attitude right now. I need to change my attitude, be it towards study or anything else. I've got to get rid the laziness in me, right away. Got to get rid of the laptop too. Thus I've asked Mum for a favour, to place the laptop in her room. With the current state I am, I don't think I'll be able to achieve the result, I want to achieve. No one will change anything, I have to start the change.

Ohhh attitude, I really need the Secondary3(retained) attitude of mine back. And I'm having sleeping disorder. I get so tired at school, despite the long hours of sleep. No matter, how hard I try to keep myself awake. No more energy drink for me, please. I want to get over with my 'O', I don't wish to retake my 'O', seriously. Do it once, do it well.

Hopefully there's an improvement, after laptop is taken away from my hands. ;)

Hellooo. I know many are not reading my blog.

Well few days back, I chatted with someone. It has been such a long time since we chatted. I agree that changes do happen in each and everyone of our life, be it for the better, or for the worse. But somehow, the attitude of oneself can only change depend on themselves. For us, we never change, I love the way she was before, and she is how she was. I really missed those times, where the two of us were everywhere together, despite our age difference we could still get along very well. We started sharing stories and we even talked about the past. And that make me realize how much I've change and how much I miss the old me. Well, I did change for the better. But back then, I had a blast. I had fun. I really did. I don't wish for the past to happen again, but I'd would wish for the future to be better. A better or havoc life after my 'o' *insyallah, amin* I really want to meet her. Effing excited for the time, where we can sit and talk. *like old times* HAHAHAHAHA. Not only did I miss my past, but I'd also miss my past, hanging out with mummy and her friends till late night, going on holidays. But sadly, all of us are busy. So we've got no time to meet each other.

I've just realize how'd much I miss him and love him.

When he was around, things were different. I've always had someone by my side. I knew regardless of anything he will be there. I'm testing my faithful-ness right now. Am I able to wait for you? IDTS. Really. But at the same time, no other dudes are able to replace you. GOSH! and this sucks.! No guy is able to tolerate my nonsense like you did. No guy is able to act my age, and be all childish. No guy is able to come down to my place just to accompany me for lunch/dinner. No guys is able to hold their appetency. And no guys is able to respect me like how you did. Even if they are well-educated or rich, one thing they're not able to do, is to keep me laughing like how'd you did. Or maybe hurt me like how'd you did right? *wink* I'm really expecting you letter. And Ibu has been talking about it. I think ibu miss you! hahahha.

Hellooo, it has been weeks since I last update my blog, and yes, I'm aware that nobody is viewing my blog. *sob*

I know I' am suppose to make my own choice.

But I simple can't.

There were no promised made, but I feel bad.

I really do. It's not far for you, I know.

Trying my best, really.

I don't feel good about this, really.

Someone like you are meant to be treasured, I will, really.

We've made this promise, only between you and me.

No one knows anything, except for you and me.

I know they try to understand but they can't.

And I know, when they say they understand, well, the truth is they don't.

*cry* We promise to be the bestest of friend didn't we?